What happens when doctors don’t believe your pain is real?

You’re sitting in yet another doctor’s office. You’ve been describing your symptoms—the burning, the stabbing, the constant discomfort that makes even wearing underwear unbearable. Your doctor glances at your chart, then back at you. “Have you tried reducing your stress? Sometimes these things are psychological.” Your heart sinks. Not again.

This is medical gaslighting—when healthcare providers dismiss, minimize, or misattribute your very real symptoms. And if you’re a woman living with chronic gynecologic pain, you’ve likely experienced this harmful pattern far too often.

Medical Gaslighting: Why Women’s Pain Gets Dismissed

Recent research reveals a disturbing reality: women experiencing vulvovaginal pain report that 45% have been told to simply “relax more,” while 39% were made to feel they were “crazy.” Perhaps most heartbreaking, 55% of these patients considered giving up on seeking care entirely.

This isn’t in your head. Medical gaslighting is rooted in centuries of gender bias where women’s reproductive health concerns have been dismissed as hysteria or psychological issues. Even today, women describing identical symptoms to men are perceived as less credible and are more likely to receive psychological care recommendations instead of pain treatment.

The Real Cost of Medical Gaslighting

The impact extends far beyond physical suffering. When doctors repeatedly dismiss your pain, you may begin to doubt your own experiences. This isolation can spiral into anxiety, depression, and deep distrust of the healthcare system—the very system meant to help you heal.

For women with conditions like endometriosis, vulvodynia, or other complex gynecologic pain disorders, this dismissal means years of suffering while bouncing from provider to provider, never receiving proper diagnosis or treatment. The emotional exhaustion becomes as debilitating as the physical pain itself.

Breaking Free from Medical Gaslighting

While systemic change is desperately needed in medical training and research funding, you don’t have to wait helplessly. Here are practical steps to protect yourself from medical gaslighting:

Trust yourself. Your pain is real, regardless of whether tests reveal an obvious cause. You are the expert on your own body.

Document everything. Keep detailed notes about your symptoms, what triggers them, what provides relief, and every treatment you’ve tried. Bring these notes to appointments.

Find specialists. Seek providers who specifically treat complex gynecologic pain. Not all gynecologists receive training in conditions like vulvodynia or pelvic floor dysfunction. We connects patients with knowledgeable specialists who understand these conditions.

Use clear language. If dismissed, try saying: “I need you to take my pain seriously and explore treatment options with me.” Don’t apologize for advocating for yourself.

Get second (or third) opinions. A provider who won’t listen doesn’t deserve to keep you as a patient. Keep searching until you find someone who believes you.

You Deserve Compassionate Care

If you’re living this reality right now, please know: you are not weak for being exhausted. You are responding exactly as any human would to prolonged, invisible suffering. You deserve relief. You deserve gentleness. You deserve rest that actually restores you.

One step at a time, one breath at a time—you are not alone on this path.

If you’re struggling with vulvovaginal pain and need support accessing specialized care, learn more about how The Aziza Project can help. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone.