What would it feel like to face the holidays with chronic pain and stop apologizing for your body?

Every year, the season hands you a script. Bake the cookies. Host the dinner. Travel the miles. Smile through all of it.

Your body never agreed to that script. Vulvovaginal pain doesn’t take December off. A long meal can hurt. So can the drive there. So can your aunt’s questions about kids.

You’re allowed to write a different script this year.

Planning the Holidays With Chronic Pain in Mind

Start with what your body can hold. Pick the traditions that matter most. Let the rest go. Bring your cushion. Drive separately so you can leave early. Plan rest around big events, not after you crash.

The U.S. Pain Foundation suggests setting a firm exit time before an event begins. I love that. The decision is already made, so you don’t fight for it mid-party.

Preparing the People, Not Just the Plans

Some of the hardest holiday pain isn’t physical. It’s the comments. The “but you look fine.” The pressure to explain yourself, again.

You don’t owe anyone your medical history over dinner. If someone you love wants to help, share this gentle guide on what to say (and not say) before the gathering. Let it do the explaining for you.

If this season feels heavy, please know: you are not ruining anything by protecting your body. Choosing rest is not selfish. Leaving early is not failure. You deserve a season that makes room for you, not one you have to survive. One small boundary at a time, you can celebrate on your own terms. If you’re living with vulvovaginal pain and need support finding specialized care, learn more about how The Aziza Project can help. You don’t have to do this alone.